Cinemark is really stepping it up with the gimmicks to get people back in cinemas. Quite a bold choice to turn off the AC in our theater—in 95-degree Texas heat—I assume to simulate a heat stroke and help us sympathize with the characters more. Really added to the ambiance of the film! It’s like 3D or Smell-O-Vision but somehow even more unpleasant.

On a more serious note, this was such a disappointing adaptation. It doesn’t add much to the source material, and in some cases, the movie actively does it a disservice. The major underlying issue here is how they went about developing the characters (beyond what was in the original); much of their actions stop making sense because they fill in blanks that were left blank for a reason. For instance, Usnavi and Vanessa’s relationship—while the stage musical left their history before the events of the show mostly a mystery, the movie decides, definitively, that they had almost no interaction before he awkwardly asks her out. Then they have a bad date, he basically calls her a whore… and that’s it before she somehow falls in love with him.

But the most annoying offense was ruining the climax of “Blackout” with poor pacing and a de-emphasis of its importance in the emotional arc of the show. Thankfully the opening number was a good bit of fun, and “Breathe” managed to cajole a tear out of me. But overall I’ll be sticking to the cast recording.

Exteriors look terrible (I say terrible a lot don’t I). Starting to think I just don’t like anamorphic digital. This was shot in 7K, and yet it feels unpleasantly soft. And could ya please hold on a wide for more than two seconds?

Somebody needed to crank that saturation slider up a couple notches. For something like this, I want color! Really I just want a Do the Right Thing musical :(

I totally understand others liking this more, especially if you aren’t familiar with the original musical. Plus, being locked in a sauna may or may not have affected my viewing experience.

But also I’m sorry, this just looks like a moderately expensive YouTube video.

Note: Against my better judgment, I still like Lin-Manuel Miranda.

Rating: 2/5